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Archive for the ‘Yoga’ Category

I have had such an urge to do yoga lately and am adding to my yoga DVD collection.  I’ve also been do a bit of cardio and strength training.  But I really just feel like doing yoga every day (with some pilates thrown in).

My long term, very future goal is do have a daily yoga practice.  Even further away is to have a serious one – long practices every day (not exactly a feat that I see happening with little ones under foot).

I have to admit being annoyed my my large breasts and mother belly getting in the way of some poses.  I am pretty flexible for some asanas (not all, especially upper body – lots of room for growth there) and there are times I could go further if the fat wasn’t in the way.  So, yes, a part of me hopes those areas shrink for the benefit of my practice.  Am I going to diet to do that?  Nope.  Am I beating myself up about it and drowning in negative body thoughts?  Nah.

Would I have done these things like 3 years ago?  Probably.  Definitely 4 years ago.  (Having Z in my life has made me more sane about all of this, even pre-blog/actively seeking body sanity).

I have also tweaked my “diet” (the food I eat) a bit to lessen the wheat and dairy a good deal and to increase the good fats.  I am doing this to hopefully clear up mu skin.  I’m giving it a few months before deciding if it works or not.  But I have to say, I am feeling better after these meals so far.  Nothing is off limits (hence me saying I am going “wheat and dairy light”) and I have not gone into crazy deprivation mode since I don’t feel like I am depriving myself at all.  This is very big for me.  Usually even the smallest “diet” change (no matter the reason) meant I was going to end up in The Head Crazies.

Small, baby steps…

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I have thoughts to blog about that rumble about in my head but I never seem to get over here to do so.

I’m going to make more of an effort to post.  I definitely have things I should get out and here is just as good of a place as any.

I am working on my health and how I feel in my body.  No dieting.  No body hating.  But definitely some attempts at lifestyle changes (not the bullshit kind, the actual real, good for you kind).  Yoga, more whole foods, fermenting some foods, etc…  Not only to make my body feel and act better but to hopefully clear up my adult acne.

I accept my body for where it is.  I am, though, not comfortable in it.  There are some bulges that get in my way or bother me when sleeping.  I feel stiff.  I do not hate my body for these issues or wish to enter into the insanity of dieting again.  But I do want to make changes in my life that help me feel better day to day and that even make doing yoga easier for me.

So there’s a mini update on where my mind is at.  Mini being the key word.

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I just Googled that.  I’m about to go to bed and wanted to check out some yoga blogs on my phone before falling asleep.

My blog was on the second page of Google with those search terms.

Heh.

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In various stages of my adult life, I have flirted with becoming a morning exerciser. The only time I was consistent with it for a long time was when I was working full time, going to graduate school full time, had a crazy long commute (minimum car time with 2 hours a day), and around 25 years old.

I have never been a morning person. It’s tough for me to get out of bed (although, now, I get out once Z is awake so there’s no slow rise for me any more). The idea of getting up at 5 to get a workout in is intimidating. When I was doing it at age 25 I was getting up at 4:30 and doing workouts like The Firm.

Anyway, the reason why I still flirt with this is because it’s the only way I can see being a consistent exerciser in my current life. It guarantees a time of day where life won’t interrupt (sans illness) and it starts my day off with a boost of energy and to my self-esteem.

The random attempts to morning exercise in the last few years have often been met with my crazy morning mind who convinces myself I’ll totally do it later that day. Crazy Morning Mind is a big fat liar.

So this is one of my bigger goals as of late. I’m still a little ragged from traveling so I’ll probably start in a few days. I’m posting about it to keep myself accountable.

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I think at least 10 times have I seen that this is a search term for how someone finds my blog (probably because of this post).

Who are these people wanting to know a way to ask a person their clothing size?? What is their purpose to gain this information? What will they do when they find how to appropriately (ha!) ask a person their size?

Bizarre.

On a totally unrelated note, I ordered myself some yoga cards (and I also have these somewhere but haven’t seen them in ages – going to have to sift through our insane closets). I enjoy my DVDs but am thinking that doing my own practice would be nice as well. I don’t know how to do that, though, without some sort of guidance.

I have been thinking about yoga a lot lately. Reading magazines, etc… and looking around for some blogs to check out (suggestions appreciated). I have been practicing it off and on for more than a decade but never at 100%. I do love it, though. I am relatively flexible (well, in my lower half – my upper body definitely not) and love the feeling of yoga. So here I am, working on getting it into my life in a regular fashion.

And I have yet to make my food list. Just letting that be and figuring it will happen if it needs to.

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Chore

This morning I shared a delicious meal with Z at our favorite local diner. I wish all my meals were as satisfying. And it was diner food so not the epitome of health but I still walked away feeling good in my body – not low and weak like I am finding myself post-meals so often these days.

I am still questioning why I am doing this to my body so frequently – I think Megan nailed a huge aspect of it for me in the comments of my last post. Figuring out what my body truly wants and getting it all made is a chore.

So how do I get beyond that? My life is not going to get less busy being a mother to a delightful, busy bodied two year old. Like most of us, life is just pretty damn full. I am doing better to include moving my body (pilates and yoga mostly) a few times a week. Now I need to figure out how to feed my body the food it crave. I really want to feel more alive after a meal.

I am still flirting with the idea of making a list of foods/meals that I enjoy eating and that do not leave me feeling lethargic in the end. It makes me a tad nervous that it will bring out the dieter in me and, eventually, the rebel (heh, that sounds much cooler than it actual feels at the time). Heck, I couldn’t even food journal for a full day ala Geneen Roth because it stirred up too many diet memories and emotions. But it would give me something concrete to focus on before making a food choice. Stopping myself and thinking about what my body wants isn’t happening – maybe making myself look at a list will allow myself the time to connect with my body before feeding it.

It’s a bit like a menu – and I usually make choices at restaurants that I truly want. I may over eat them (although much better at this) but if I eat to satisfaction I don’t feel like crap afterward. Like my diner meal with Z today.

Writing this blog post has convinced me to at least try making a list. Hopefully it will help and not backfire.

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I’d like to have some goals this month. I am a bit nervous doing this given my Should Addiction but I am aiming on simply keeping these goals, not musts.

  • Thanks to Spiritwolf (Bliss Chick), I hinted to my DH that I wanted this book and guess what he surprised me with? Hurrah!
  • Also read Eating in the Light of the Moon, which I already own. I read about half back in my OA days and remember enjoying it. No idea why I didn’t finish it (although my MIL unexpectedly passed away when I was in OA and it was downhill from there so that may have been it).
  • Yoga practice. Now, in my 30s, my out of shape self is feeling so unbelievably stiff and inflexible. I have always been pretty flexible (lower body mainly, not so much in upper body poses), even during workout/yoga droughts, but not any more. I have just started noticing an inflexibility that I haven’t experienced before. My body is finally rebelling against its lack of use (well, minus running around after a cute 2 year old). I’d like to start using my yoga DVDs during Z’s nap time a few times a week to start. And I am hoping that by following my body’s desire to be stretched and balanced that I can avoid creating another Should in my life.
  • The walking hasn’t taken off but that’s OK. Part of it was due to the SoCal fires and poor air quality. I could feel the guilt set in so that’s my primary focus right now (giving myself permission to walk when I want to, minus any Should feeling).
  • Visit my favorite blogs more often. I have slacked a bit here, mainly due to my parents staying with us during the fires, etc… I have missed checking in daily and can see how this really helped my mindset. A lot.

Alright. There it is all laid out.

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