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Archive for the ‘Inspiration’ Category

I’ve been feeling pretty blah about blogging lately.  I don’t feel like I have anything interesting to say, any new insights, not even any new complaints!  And I have barely been reading my favorite IE/FA blogs as well.

What’s up with that?

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So I watched Rachel and Mo Pie on the Mike and Julie show (I am so out of the loop – are they the alternative Regis and Kelly??). First of all – they did soooo awesome. I would have been shaking in my boots (with anger) at some of the crap that Roth woman was spewing. They were very eloquent in their responses – I just wish they had more time.

But my major wake up call was watching the opening with Rachel (F-Word). I kept thinking how great she looked and how I wished I looked as good as she did. I was envious of her body/her look (obviously have way more self-acceptance to do). And the kicker was – she revealed her height and weight and that’s exactly me to a T! <thud>

Wake up there, Zmama, even you would check yourself out! Ha!

Now I should find out where she shops.

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I finally finished WWSHTB last night. It is definitely my favorite book on IE that I have read so far. I think I am going to reread it sooner than later as well (and hopefully a bit faster this next time – this toddler mama was juggling too many books this fall).

Next on my list is The Yoga of Eating – I started it but set it down to get through WWSHTB. Plus finishing Eating in the Light of the Moon. I also have two Geneen Roth books floating around from like 18 months ago (my first, very brief fling with IE). These should keep me busy during the winter. I really feel like I do my best when soaking in IE/body acceptance books/blogs, etc…

I’d like to try out a workbook on IE – does anyone have a favorite? There seems to be a decent amount of choice over at Amazon. Any advice is much appreciated.

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Still working on my various books and added another to the mix (see comments – DH got it as one of his wedding anniversary gifts for me).

I feel like I am in sort of a stand still. Occasionally having bad body thoughts, visiting some IE/FA blogs, doing my reading a bit per day… Not having any major epiphanies or waves of inspiration. Just sort of being neutral these days.

No huge urges to diet. I am handling the occasional bad body thoughts pretty well but I have to admit I hate that they are still there.

This is a slow and arduous process, isn’t it?

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I’d like to have some goals this month. I am a bit nervous doing this given my Should Addiction but I am aiming on simply keeping these goals, not musts.

  • Thanks to Spiritwolf (Bliss Chick), I hinted to my DH that I wanted this book and guess what he surprised me with? Hurrah!
  • Also read Eating in the Light of the Moon, which I already own. I read about half back in my OA days and remember enjoying it. No idea why I didn’t finish it (although my MIL unexpectedly passed away when I was in OA and it was downhill from there so that may have been it).
  • Yoga practice. Now, in my 30s, my out of shape self is feeling so unbelievably stiff and inflexible. I have always been pretty flexible (lower body mainly, not so much in upper body poses), even during workout/yoga droughts, but not any more. I have just started noticing an inflexibility that I haven’t experienced before. My body is finally rebelling against its lack of use (well, minus running around after a cute 2 year old). I’d like to start using my yoga DVDs during Z’s nap time a few times a week to start. And I am hoping that by following my body’s desire to be stretched and balanced that I can avoid creating another Should in my life.
  • The walking hasn’t taken off but that’s OK. Part of it was due to the SoCal fires and poor air quality. I could feel the guilt set in so that’s my primary focus right now (giving myself permission to walk when I want to, minus any Should feeling).
  • Visit my favorite blogs more often. I have slacked a bit here, mainly due to my parents staying with us during the fires, etc… I have missed checking in daily and can see how this really helped my mindset. A lot.

Alright. There it is all laid out.

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I am a Should Person. I should myself a lot. I should eat this because it’s healthy. I should workout because I am a fat, lazy slob if I don’t. I should do such and such because I just read that such and such provides so much happiness.

You get the point.

There are so many gems in When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies and I am just adoring this book (thanks, again, GoodWithCheese!). Page 171 really spoke to me when I read it.

As you approach the experience of “voting for the inside”, it is important to distinguish between feeling you must stop eating as soon as you have had enough and feeling that you would like to stop eating as soon as you have had enough.

That really clicked with me because I was am in the must stop boat. I haven’t found it in myself to naturally stop because I actually want to. I haven’t built a strong enough Internal Caretaker to get to this point. WWSHTB really emphasizes building this caretaker slowly, by being kind to myself as I care for myself with food, choose a food that my body wants – not that my diet-ridden head says is OK, etc… I read their other book but somehow missed that it was such a process to get to this point of finding true satisfaction with food, consistently. Consistency being the key because I have been able to stop eating a yummy food without overeating. Just not every time.

And, because I am a Shouldy McShoulddison, this turns in to a brow beating for not getting it “right” every time.

So it’s important for me to see these things, like the above quote, laid out in black and white. I am slow on the uptake it seems. I am finding this book so helpful in my recovery. This blog as well. I have not consistently journaled like this in so long.

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I read through the first two months of postings on Good with Cheese and felt inspired. I got off my duff and did a pilates workout. Z and I then went to the park and had a great time.

Surrounding myself with healthy discussion of IE/body image, etc… is something I should try and do every day. It really made a difference today.

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