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Archive for January, 2009

I am 5′ 3 1/2″ tall.  I wear a Red #2 in Right Fit Jeans from Lane Bryant.

Based on my BMI I am a “candidate” for lap band surgery.

I am shocked.  Not shocked in the “OMG, I’m so fat” but in the “OMG, a doctor would butcher my insides just because I’m this size” kind of shocked.

I am a curvy, over weight gal.  But a walking billboard for weight loss surgery?  That just seems a bit nuts to me.

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I have had such an urge to do yoga lately and am adding to my yoga DVD collection.  I’ve also been do a bit of cardio and strength training.  But I really just feel like doing yoga every day (with some pilates thrown in).

My long term, very future goal is do have a daily yoga practice.  Even further away is to have a serious one – long practices every day (not exactly a feat that I see happening with little ones under foot).

I have to admit being annoyed my my large breasts and mother belly getting in the way of some poses.  I am pretty flexible for some asanas (not all, especially upper body – lots of room for growth there) and there are times I could go further if the fat wasn’t in the way.  So, yes, a part of me hopes those areas shrink for the benefit of my practice.  Am I going to diet to do that?  Nope.  Am I beating myself up about it and drowning in negative body thoughts?  Nah.

Would I have done these things like 3 years ago?  Probably.  Definitely 4 years ago.  (Having Z in my life has made me more sane about all of this, even pre-blog/actively seeking body sanity).

I have also tweaked my “diet” (the food I eat) a bit to lessen the wheat and dairy a good deal and to increase the good fats.  I am doing this to hopefully clear up mu skin.  I’m giving it a few months before deciding if it works or not.  But I have to say, I am feeling better after these meals so far.  Nothing is off limits (hence me saying I am going “wheat and dairy light”) and I have not gone into crazy deprivation mode since I don’t feel like I am depriving myself at all.  This is very big for me.  Usually even the smallest “diet” change (no matter the reason) meant I was going to end up in The Head Crazies.

Small, baby steps…

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