Guilt Rant
March 17, 2008 by zmama75
The block I am having with HAES is the guilt I feel about not practicing it to the best of my ability. And, the thing is, guilt shouldn’t even be associated with HAES in that fashion in the first place.
What is it about me that makes me feel guilty with how I am as a person? Rational Me knows that I am a good person, a good mommy, a good wife, a good friend, a good professional, a good daughter. So why should the fact that I struggle with taking care of myself to my fullest potential make me feel like such shit at times? What’s with this judge and jury in my head??
But, I’m still here. I’m not dieting. I am fighting back negative thoughts (*most of the time*). I am trying to become the female role model I want my daughter to grow up with. I do not want her life (for me, namely, my 20s) wasted away by body hate, dieting, self-esteem issues, yadda yadda yadda. Never mind the crazy ass crap that is out there for her to read when she’s barely 10 years old. <sigh>
And, on a slightly related note, please don’t comment on my blog to tell me you can make me “stop gaining weight” and become an intuitive eater in 21 days. I want that second back when I clicked on “spam” instead of my normal “approve”. Bah.
That “judge and jury” in your head is one of your best friends. It loves you and wants the best for you. Unfortunately, it doesn’t KNOW what is really best for you, and it’s time to say “thanks for the input” and make decisions that comfort you better.
HAES included mental well-being. It also means sometimes you just lie around and feel your feelings rather than exercise, or clean, or whatever “should” is in your head.
You’re doing fine. Keep going. See what’s ahead.
Yes, thank you for that. I am slowly getting this into my head.
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