34
December 12, 2007 by zmama75
I went to a new doctor yesterday who I really liked. She actually sat down with me, asked me tons of questions, and made sure I was all set before heading to the next client. I haven’t received that kind of service from a medical doctor in years.
The one sucky thing - my BMI is 34 (I am about 50-60 lbs “over weight” by my estimate) and she talked a lot to me about heart health. She wasn’t extreme in her thoughts in the slightest - actually quite caring and gentle in her advice (exercise was her advice of choice for this visit).
And now I feel….mixed. I seriously do not want to diet. I just do not. I can’t diet. I suck at it - not only does it make me crazy but I am never successful.
I’d like to start getting up early to work out but it has been a bust so far. A head cold last week and now this week Z is stuffed up and not sleeping well. So I am choosing sleep over working out. But I still really want to get in the habit of doing this in the morning (before she wakes up) - it’ll be out of my life, it starts my day right, and it makes sure I get it done.
This post is a bit of a mishmash. I guess all I am trying to say is that I am struggling. I don’t feel like I am on the verge of dieting. I just feel down about the whole IE thing and where I am with it. I was doing pretty well with body acceptance in the early autumn but not so much now. I mean, I don’t berate myself or anything. But I am not happy with how I look or how I feel. And whenever I start thinking of how to change it, I get crazy in the head and rebellious. It feels like I am spinning in a circle of sameness with little change.
ETA: Since writing this today, I have read several of my favorite blogs and was lucky enough to stumble across this and this. Two bloggers who I really respect and admire - and, admittedly, put on a bit of a pedestal. And while I wish it was super easy for them 100% of the time, it’s a bit reaffirming that what I am going through is normal no matter where you are with body acceptance and IE.
So, feeling a bit better at the moment.
~Just discovered you a couple of days ago. I sooo relate to how you’re feeling with the exercise and the idea of “dieting.” I’m in the same boat, speaking of BMI. 40 to 50 pounds seems like a lot, but it’s totally possible. My personal pedestal blogger and real life friend has gone through more than half of her goal weightloss, all among the throes of multiple health conditions. She started at ‘veggiepaparazzi.blogspot.com’ and migrated to ‘aprovechar.danandsally.com.’ Check ‘em out if you haven’t already! Her approach to exercise and eating are exemplary. Myself, I’m staring at the long road that leads to my goal weight. Good habits are hard for me to make because I like what’s easy. But in the long term it will be worth it if we hike up our britches and put in the effort. Even if it means more time in the kitchen preparing food that will treat our bodies better (that’s what I dread the most). Even if it means carving time into an already impossible schedule to be active.
You can do it!!