Meeting My Internal Caretaker « Zmama’s Balancing Act

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Meeting My Internal Caretaker

October 23, 2007 by zmama75

My parents live up in the mountains and just had to evacuate their home yesterday because of a fire. SoCal is burning up right now. It’s horrifying.

It looks like my parents’ condo will be OK but it’s truly too early to know for sure. I am overwhelmed with anxiety because of this.

I have no tools to deal with this - none that make sense minus eating. I actually haven’t eaten to soothe myself, yet. So maybe I will and maybe I won’t.

I am telling myself that if I do, all it is is a lesson about my Internal Caretaker (ala WWSHTB). I would really rather be strong and deal with this without food. I’m just not there yet. So I keep reminding myself that this is a learning moment - a point in time where I can be nice to myself even if I comfort myself with food. Not a time to hate myself because I don’t know how else to calm this anxiety.

Someday I will. Today just does not seem to be that day.

Posted in Disorded Eating, Intuitive Eating | 6 Comments

6 Responses to “Meeting My Internal Caretaker”

on October 23, 2007 at 8:32 pm1 Jae

I am so sorry to hear that your parents home might be in danger, but so very glad to hear that they are well. Hopefully somehow this will be under control soon.

Personally, I think you are being very strong whether or not you use food to deal with this crisis. In an ideal world we would solve all our problems without any outside aide (save that of our loved ones), but sadly this world is far from ideal. It takes a strong person to admit that while their behavior might not be what they strive for, it is more important that the need is met and less important how it is met.

Hang in there sweetie…play with little Z, read a favorite book, watch a favorite movie or TV show with your family, call a friend…whatever makes you feel better, because even though you are caring for a lot of people right now, you to deserve to be cared for. And if you need someone to talk to feel free to email me at thenewthirteen at gmail dot com. You are all in my thoughts!
on October 24, 2007 at 10:03 am2 zmama75

Thanks so much - that meant a lot to read.

I did overeat some last night and every time anxiety boiled up to the surface about it I told myself that it was OK. Hello, Internal Caretaker!

So far so good with my parents’ place - untouched by the fire.
on October 25, 2007 at 11:22 am3 Jae

Aw that’s great I’m glad to hear that you doing so well taking care of yourself inspite of the stress and that you parents house is still standing. It seems like things might be getting under control now if they weather continues to cooperate.
on October 29, 2007 at 10:21 am4 Bliss Chick

I know a few people in SoCal too, it’s pretty scary. I was just there too. I hope your parent’s home will be safe.
on October 30, 2007 at 6:45 am5 Spiritwolf

Hey, I tagged you . . . twice. Play along if you like.

http://spiritwolf.wordpress.com/2007/10/30/tag-2-10-20-30/

and

http://spiritwolf.wordpress.com/2007/10/30/tag-number-1-abc%e2%80%99s/
on October 31, 2007 at 1:47 pm6 zmama75

Just wanted to report that my parents are back home and their condo is fine.