I am a Should Person. I should myself a lot. I should eat this because it’s healthy. I should workout because I am a fat, lazy slob if I don’t. I should do such and such because I just read that such and such provides so much happiness.
You get the point.
There are so many gems in When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies and I am just adoring this book (thanks, again, GoodWithCheese!). Page 171 really spoke to me when I read it.
As you approach the experience of “voting for the inside”, it is important to distinguish between feeling you must stop eating as soon as you have had enough and feeling that you would like to stop eating as soon as you have had enough.
That really clicked with me because I was am in the must stop boat. I haven’t found it in myself to naturally stop because I actually want to. I haven’t built a strong enough Internal Caretaker to get to this point. WWSHTB really emphasizes building this caretaker slowly, by being kind to myself as I care for myself with food, choose a food that my body wants - not that my diet-ridden head says is OK, etc… I read their other book but somehow missed that it was such a process to get to this point of finding true satisfaction with food, consistently. Consistency being the key because I have been able to stop eating a yummy food without overeating. Just not every time.
And, because I am a Shouldy McShoulddison, this turns in to a brow beating for not getting it “right” every time.
So it’s important for me to see these things, like the above quote, laid out in black and white. I am slow on the uptake it seems. I am finding this book so helpful in my recovery. This blog as well. I have not consistently journaled like this in so long.
I can relate so much to this. I’m also reading that book and I’m finding it helpful, though I can tell I’m going to have to read it again before anything starts really sinking in.
It’s late here, but I have a feeling I’ll be peeking through the rest of your blog at work tomorrow. Thanks for the welcome!
That is a good quote. I think I should read that book. I don’t think I realize how hard it is for people to stop eating when they are full. Overeating was never a problem for me. When you have colitis like I do, overeating is almost impossible because you get instant feedback (i.e. stomach pain, followed by some quality bonding time with your bathroom.)
I learned in group therapy to ignore the shoulds and musts. It’s very hard, especially with how much the media bombards us with low-cal and low-fat/no-fat products, and new diets to try. It’s hard to say “shut-up! f-off!” but do it enough times and eventually you won’t even notice the ads, nutrition labels etc.